What my first alcohol free holiday really taught me
Back from holidays, filled with reflections
I’ve just returned from my European summer holidays - a trip back home that carried more meaning than any other in recent years. As some of you know, it was my first time travelling completely alcohol‑free. And because the last two years have been full of inner work, reconnecting with my body as my home, following my intuition, and upskilling professionally to honor the spaces where I truly flow, this holiday became a kind of check‑in with myself.
A break meant for connection, nourishment, and filling cups I can’t fill in New Zealand. Intrigued? Let’s dive into it!
1. Nervous system regulation is real and pays off
This holiday showed me how much my nervous system has changed. There were plenty of moments where I would normally react - that tone of voice, that expression, that familiar family dynamic used to fire me up. But this time, I could observe it from a different perspective and, most of the times, choose how to respond. Always successfully? Of course not. Returning home can activate old patterns quickly - suddenly you’re “the daughter” or “the polite girl” again. But even when I slipped into old reactions, I noticed it. And that noticing is growth.
All the tools I’ve been practicing - breathing, naming emotions, movement, hugging, dancing, journalling, trail running, talking, smelling herbs and flowers, coloring, tougher training sessions, focusing on my senses - they add up. They help me stay connected to myself while being with people I love. They help me respond to my needs in ways that are actually supportive. Because when you feel grounded, you can answer to challenges from a very different place. And this can be trained!
2. Environment affects you, quietly
Moving through three very different environments - green and cold New Zealand, the gentle Polish summer, and then a three‑week heatwave in Spain with wildfires and a Mediterranean Sea not cooling down as it used to - made something clear: your surroundings shape your nervous system more than you realize. Because we sometimes like to think that we have everything under control, we might miss the fact that we are always surrounded and interconnected with people, nature and absolutely everything that is around, whether we like it or not.
My family of four felt it. As the heat intensified, so did our irritability and anxiety. At the top of that, navigating the rhythm of a busy city became a lesson in boundaries: How much noise do we let in? When overstimulated, how do we ground ourselves? Which routines are worth sticking to when everything else is changing? For us, it looked like slower meals, morning walks, fewer social commitments, breathing practices, yoga, and yes - air conditioning when needed, because heat stresses the body.
It might seem quite obvious but it’s easier to stay regulated when your environment supports you. And it also raises a powerful question: how can you design your environment - even in small ways - to help your body feel steadier? What opportunities do you have to support your health through the environment you create?
There is a great meta-analysis in The Lancet from 2019 on the influence of green spaces on our health*, where they found evidence of an inverse association between surrounding greenness and all-cause mortality (link after the article if you want to dig in deeper).
3. Almost no one cared that I wasn’t drinking
This one surprised me. I had imagined awkwardness, questions, maybe even distance. I worried whether friends would still want to meet, or how family BBQs would feel without a beer in my hand. Worried about being judged because I didn’t want to lose people or create tension.
But almost no one cared.
There was 0% beer (or other drinks) available everywhere, but more importantly: people wanted to meet me because of me, not because of what I was drinking. That was deeply uplifting. We all crave belonging, consciously or not. So it was reassuring to see people staying by my side, regardless of what was in my glass. Nearly everyone understood when I said alcohol didn’t serve me anymore. No explanations needed.
A few people were surprised or slightly uncomfortable at the beginning - and I get that. When someone breaks a well‑established ritual, it can feel like a disruption. We are all in different moments of our lives and that’s ok. I don’t mind spending my time with people who drink socially, my choice doesn’t have to be theirs. But I’m in this safe space now, quite grounded and simply happy to choose the way I want to enjoy my time, so cravings or urges are not happening. It is not always that easy, there might be moments where other strategies might be more helpful (like avoiding environments with alcohol).
Staying on my side felt empowering. Seeing people close to me accept it, probably even more.
4. “Holidays = drink in your hand” is pure marketing
Alcohol is everywhere - in endless forms, flavors, colors, moods. It’s sold as fun, sophistication, relaxation, celebration. Those associations were in our cultures for ages, now massified and personalized to different age groups, styles, genders, social status. There is whole industry build on creating needs we never had in a first place. So when you stop drinking, you start noticing how many people around you also don’t drink. And guess what? They’re living fully.
They do sports. They eat. They explore. They laugh. They rest. They connect. They laugh. They dance. They live.
It’s a game changer when you realize you don’t NEED alcohol to do anything. You can simply live your life without it.
Some of the moments I enjoyed most were beautifully ordinary:
Following a snail in the garden with my niece (mindfullness!)
Eating home‑cooked lunch with twelve people at the table (gratitude)
Evening chats on the terrace with my mum and sis (comfort)
Long phone calls with friends I couldn’t meet in person (connection above all)
Indulging in nearly‑melted ice cream brought by my 86‑year‑old grandma (exceptional memories)
Spending 24h with a friend who left it all just see you (exceptional memories)
Rediscovering Kraków with friends (stories to tell)
That morning run with a friend because I wasn’t hungover (empowering)
Dancing with a friend at night on the Main Square to some random music (pure joy)
Simple bocadillos on the beach, with the moonlight and waves sound in the background (peace)
One‑to‑one walks and coffees with friends that allowed real conversation (connection)
Home‑made paella with my in‑laws and their stories from the past (exceptional memories)
Slow balcony coffee mornings with my husband, before the days got busy (rituals)
(and so much more!)
And you know what? None of these moments needed alcohol. None. And that is mind‑opening.
5. You can decide to quite drinking at any moment of your life
There is absolutely no limit on age or reasons for doing it. It is not too late or too early. You are allowed to make changes in your life when you start feeling like it’s not yours anymore. We do not need to follow the old habits or beliefs just because they were always there. The science is evolving, we know way more on how nutrition, movement, stress management, sleep and social connections and interrelated and affect the whole of our health - physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual. Let’s make use of all that knowledge and find a way that suit your moment and your body.
And no, you do not need to get into addiction to stop drinking. In health coaching we work on changing behaviours and creating new habits that support the health you want to have - and this is exactly that space! Choosing where do you want to spend your energy on, everyday. Everyone can have different motivations and different “whys” and that’s ok. What matters is that you and your health become important to yourself.
What made it possible for me? The decision of choosing myself and tuning into my body needs was the beginning. In perimenopause, my body needs are changing at a speed I have never experiend before, and I choose to stay on my side on this journey. After the decision, there comes the discovering and learning new ways of spending time that do align with the way I want to feel and live. Ongoing process. Sounds simple but if you have been in this space, you know there are challenges on the way.
This holiday was a break and a recalibration. A reminder that my body is wiser than any habit I once absorbed, and that choosing differently creates space for a steadier, more intentional way of living. I’m coming home with a clearer sense of what supports me, what drains me, and what I want to carry into this next chapter. Because sometimes life asks you to slow down in order to speed up.
And as I settle back into Wellington winter, I can feel a quiet readiness - not for more doing, but for deeper connection. For gathering women who are navigating similar midlife shifts, listening to their bodies in new ways, questioning old patterns, and craving a steadier relationship with themselves.
In mid‑September, I’ll be opening a small group coaching space for women who want to explore exactly that - nervous system steadiness, body‑mind awareness, alcohol‑free clarity, and the kind of self‑trust that grows when you stay on your own side. I’ll share more soon, but if this season of your life feels tender, shifting, or quietly asking for attention, you might want to keep an eye out.
Something meaningful is taking shape.
In the meantime, if my story resonates, you’re welcome to reach out. You don’t have to figure it out on your own. You can start with a free clarity call. It’s simply a conversation to explore where you are now and what kind of support might feel right. No pressure, no assumptions, no commitment or judgement, just space for you.
And if this isn’t your journey right now, that’s okay too. We’re all learning to live in ways that feel true to us.
*Rojas-Rueda D, Nieuwenhuijsen M, Gascon M et al.; Green spaces and mortality: a systematic review and meta-analysis of cohort studies; The Lancet Planetary Health, 3, e469-e477